Heroes Reborn: ‘Under The Mask’ Review
“The world has been uneasy. This is the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for. Ladies and Gentlemen…E.P.I.C.” -Erica Kravid
As much as I liked the premiere, Under the Mask was a bit all over the place. The show introduced us to a lot more characters with special powers but I have to admit that I am quite confused with where they are going with the story.
I did, however, like what Renautas did with Molly Walker. Those epically hilarious glasses are the perfect weapon in locating any Evo and it’s going to be almost impossible for anyone to hide in plain sight now. Still, this episode was the equivalent of getting lost in a dark forest. I understand that there are a lot of stories and a lot of characters but Game of Thrones never seems to have a problem with these types of things so Heroes Reborn needs to take a lesson.
Heroes was always at its best when it was dark. Sylar was such an intriguing and horrific character from the original but so far we haven’t been introduced to any really dark Evo’s yet. Sure there is a great mystery that needs to be unraveled but let’s focus more on one Evo at a time rather than time jumping all over the place like Hiro Nakamura.
Hope this review is the perfect medicine to go with your steak and eggs. Enjoy the recap, fellow Evo’s.
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Under the Dome: ‘The Enemy Within’ Series Finale Review
Saving The Worst For Last
This show will always have a special place in my dome-shaped heart. It was the first series I ever reviewed and that is pretty much the only reason it will ever be special because the series finale of Under the Dome, titled The Enemy Within, was quite possibly the absolute worst thing I have ever seen.
The summer of stupidity has finally come to an end. It has been quite a journey ever since the Dome came down on Chester’s Mill three years ago (or four weeks ago in Dome time). And we have seen it all…monarch butterflies taking over, dome-shaped eggs with pink stars falling in lines, vacation pods and healing cocoons, the world’s worst parent (Caroline, I miss you), the world’s worst sheriff (Linda, I miss you too), Joe losing his virginity, a shit ton of murder and, of course, dome logic! I will at least give this series credit for coming up with something that absolutely no one on this planet could have ever predicted. Certainly there is no place like Dome!
If your brain survived three summers of this, congratulations because you made it! The dome has officially been lifted, CBS has finally cancelled this nonsense and our brains can finally begin the healing process. Of course, the series finale explained absolutely nothing so if you came here looking for answers you will find none. Get ready for lots more murder, some really cool special effects and everyone’s favorite dog Indy and enjoy the last review of Under the Dome.
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Under the Dome: ‘Incandescence’ Review
Blunder Dome
The dome days are officially over. CBS has cancelled their greatest comedy to date and I am extremely disappointed. Summer will never be the same again. Last night’s episode, titled Incandescence, offered up one of the funniest episodes to date. We had purple tentacles, dome’s calcifying, a plan to murder the entire town, attempted child murder and ninja-like shadow queen’s with the ability of super speed. It was as if there were absolutely no limits on stupidity this week and man, am I ever going to miss this terribly bad series. I never thought I’d say that but let’s just admit that we only watch this show because it’s like a train wreck that you simply cannot look away from.
With only one more episode remaining until the series finale, Incandescence was the epitome of dumb in every way. Nothing made any sense and murder seems to be everyone’s solution to EVERYTHING in Chester’s Mill. Dome + Calcification = Murder. Cure not working + Joe trying to bring the dome down = Murder. Eavesdropping on a plot to murder the entire town + confronting the person with the plan = Murder. Seriously though, when the dome does come down, and I’m almost positive it will, a lot of these people are gonna be going to prison for a very long time.
There was just so much to make fun of in this episode that I really don’t know where to start but I better hurry up and figure this out or the dome is going to calcify and kill us all. Or I’ll simply be murdered by one of the residents of Chester’s Mill. Enjoy the recap Domies and Dorphans!
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Under the Dome: ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ Review
Long Live The Queen
The New England Patriots starting QB Tom Brady will not be playing in the season opener due to a suspension for deflating footballs. The Toronto Blue Jays are first place in the AL East in August. And Under the Dome is still alive and kicking. Could any one have predicted this? Nope.
Love is a Battlefield had it all, including one of the best Big Jim lines ever involving spider babies. Yup, only on this show will you be able to hear Dean Norris talk about spider babies destroying mankind. There was also more murder which is not surprising considering the death count is easily into double digits after the dome virgin massacre.
And in one of the greatest twists ever, Eva attempted to prevent herself from having a baby as Julia and Barbie attempt to literally push the baby out of her. Yes, you definitely read that correctly because this is Under the Dome, where forced pregnancies are a thing.
Time to check in to the Chester’s Mill motel, the best possible place to give birth to a spider baby! Long live the Queen and enjoy the recap.
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Under the Dome: ‘Legacy’ Review
The Dome Files
Well…that couldn’t have ended sooner. I am literally speechless after watching last night’s episode of Under the Dome, simply titled Legacy, and I can pretty much guarantee there will be no legacy left behind for this series. In fact, it is quite possible that everyone involved with this hot dome mess will never work again.
Somehow, I have 10,000 more questions after this disaster. We learned absolutely nothing about these Dome aliens! I mean, where did they come from in the first place? Instead we find out that some dude named Hektor and his buddy’s daughter Lily are trying to provide everyone with a cure and the dome was only a side effect of some other random named Patrick who touched the egg. That is dome-a-licious, isn’t it Domies? Oh wait, nope…it’s not. Dumb-a-licious is more appropriate.
Legacy was like a doughnut sprinkled with stupidity from start to finish with lots of cool special effects and make-out sessions. I’ve been re-reading the books and seriously, this show hasn’t even made an attempt to stay true to the story. I would have thought they would have at least made some references to the awesome Stephen King novel, but it has become clear that the writer’s are either trapped under a dome themselves or have simply given up on life.
Get ready for fun including the murder of dome virgins, potential conjugal visit sex, shape-shifting aliens, infections cured by emotion and Eva’s boobs. Enjoy the recap Domies!
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Under the Dome: ‘Plan B’ Review
Dome Hunt
Was there ever a Plan A? Honestly, stopping the Kinship with emotion was quite frankly the dumbest idea ever. But stopping the Kinship with physical pain paired with emotion…that’s definitely gotta work, right? If you answered “who the fuck knows”, then you would be absolutely correct because logic does not exist under this dome.
Plan B was all about hunting with the Kinship trying to locate Jorrie, Hunter and Big Jim, while Julia wandered off into the forest YET AGAIN, only to be tracked by her lost love, Barbie. It was an hour of television that I can only hope will fade from my memory, but sadly I no longer possess any brain cells that will allow me to repress this story from my mind.
Personally, I think Plan C should come into effect…the C obviously standing for Cancelled. It could also stand for Comedy because this episode had me laughing non-stop…and not in a good way.
Now everyone grab a gun and head off into the forest to find Julia for the 10,000th time and enjoy the recap of what was an absolutely ridiculous Plan B. Enjoy Domies!
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Under the Dome: ‘Breaking Point’ Review
Fake ‘N Bake
Much like the title of last night’s episode of Under the Dome, I have reached my Breaking Point. How do you top the end of the world? You don’t. In fact, it was all a fucking illusion and I am infuriated. The one actually COOL thing the show does and the writers decide that it was all a magic trick one episode later. So dumb.
Now, what I would like to see happen is a Game of Thrones / Under the Dome crossover episode where Dany releases her dragons into the dome. Wouldn’t that be epic? Obviously these prayers will never be answered and the stupidity continues.
Dumb times call for dumb measures in Chester’s Mill and that was exactly what happened now that Christine has healed herself. We also had the unfortunate death of another character whom I thoroughly enjoyed making fun of. Sad times in Chester’s Mill.
This episode was just plain terrible and I can tell the writers have officially overdosed on heroine. That said, we’re still recapping this hour of stupidity every week so grab a pick ax and some explosives because the Gold Amethyst Rush has hit Chester’s Mill. Enjoy Domies!
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Under the Dome: ‘Ejecta’ Review
Don’t They Know It’s The End Of The World
If you weren’t under the dome for last night’s gripping episode, titled Ejecta, then I guess you’re probably dead since it appears this episode was the end of human civilization. I’m not sure if leaving our domies alive as the last living human beings is a good idea though since, well…we all know they aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.
This event was actually hinted at way back in Season 1 when the military launched a nuke at the dome and if you need a refresher, you can check out the recap here. You’ll remember Skeeter Davis playing in the background when our domies thought their world was about to end. This time, however, it looks like the dome is their saving grace and these ‘pink stars’ have completely obliterated the planet leaving only those trapped under the dome alive. Sorry Big Jim and Julia…
This episode was easily one of the best of the series which probably doesn’t say much but I loved the premise and the direction were headed now that a meteor shower has wiped out mankind. Although I’m not really sure what was up with rehashing the time of day for all of our characters as this was going on.
It’s the end of the world folks, so grab a bottle of your finest, throw on some Skeeter Davis (reproduced below) and enjoy the ride!
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Under the Dome: ‘Caged’ Review
Steel Cage Match
OMG the most important mystery has finally been solved. I seriously don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I mean, so far this season Joe got laid and CAROLINE is back! Caged also revealed how the dome and the mini-dome came to be. What more can I possibly ask for?
When Caroline showed up though, that was one for the ages. So I guess the only thing really worth figuring out at this point is with respect to the new Dome cult that apparently all began when Melanie put the egg on the cocoon (yup, that sentence definitely just happened). Why is it pretty much effecting everyone except Joe, Norrie, Sam and Barbie? Will we ever get a real answer? Probably not because…you dumb, show!
Regardless, time to crank up some Sweet Caroline and enjoy the recap because our favorite deadbeat mom is back!
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Under the Dome: ‘Alaska’ Review
Under The Derp
There are some things in life you just can’t fix. Under the Dome is one of those things. Did we really believe that Catherine Willows from CSI would actually be able to fix this dome wreck? Even when providing a ton of answers about the egg, nothing still seems to make any sense. Not only that, I truly believe that these townsfolk wouldn’t need any help killing themselves on their own. I mean, they already started like 10 different fires, the former sheriff impaled himself on some spikes like the Prince of Persia and parenting is no longer a thing with Caroline going MIA. Also, murder is totally cool in Chester’s Mill so there’s that too.
Alaska had answers regarding how the egg was found and what it can do but if you thought that any of it would make a lick of sense than shame on you because Domeville is a place where brain cells go to die.
There’s nothing better than some burning hair, a 40 oz of your favorite liquor and some oxytocin to go with this recap. Enjoy Domies!
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