Game of Thrones: ‘The Wars To Come’ Review

Don’t Stop Believing

Don't Stop Believing

“The freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted” -Mance Rayder

Spring is here which can only mean one thing…that winter is coming! That’s right, Game of Thrones premiered last night on HBO and, after last season’s crazy finale that saw Tywin Lannister meet his unfortunate demise, there is a lot going on in Westeros. So much so that I don’t even know where to begin. The Wars to Come made for an epic premiere and I think most of the episode was meant to really fill us in on what in the fuck happened last season and where most of these characters are headed.

That said, we have numerous power players looking to make their entry into the game of thrones. Stannis is at the Wall, Dany is in Meereen, young Tommen and Cersei are in King’s Landing, Sansa’s in the Eyrie and who the fuck knows where Arya is since she didn’t make an appearance. Luckily for all of us, things are moving along quickly so let’s check in and see what our most beloved and hated characters are up too for what is sure to be an epic season.

Season of the Bitch


Our journey begins with a beauty of a flashback and a scene that book-readers will remember quite well. A young Cersei and her friend stumble upon a creepy looking hut and, like any curious child, end up waltzing right in. Of course, this is Westeros and this is not your ordinary creepy hut. Inside, the two children are confronted by a ‘boring’ witch who can see the future. Maggy the Frog, as she’s called in the books, eventually comes to her senses after Cersei, who is still a complete bitch in youth, threatens the witch if she doesn’t tell her the future.

Maggy grants Cersei three questions. First, she asks when she will be married. Maggy responds that she will be married to the King, an obvious reference to Robert Baratheon. Second, she asks if she will be queen at which Maggy responds that she will be for a time until a younger, more beautiful queen will come around and cast her down. Lastly, she asks if she will have any children at which Maggy tells her that she will only have 3 while the King will have 20. Again, a reference to Robert’s many bastard children. Basically, this sums it up:

Your Future Sucks

At this point, it is fairly obvious that Maggy’s fortune has had a major impact on Cersei, especially now that Margaery is hangin’ around in King’s Landing and laying in bed with Cersei’s youngest son. Cersei probably is assuming that Margaery is the young Queen which Maggy had mentioned so many years ago.

Flash forward to present time and we find Cersei and Jaime at her father’s funeral. Cersei blames Jaime for Tywin’s death since he was the one who helped Tyrion escape. Consequences…and here they are. And it’s about freakin’ time. There is something about watching the Lannister’s finally get what they deserve that is oh so satisfying. I guess the rest of Westeros also pays their debts…to the audience 🙂

After the funeral, Lancel Lannister returns to King’s Landing. You might remember Lancel from previous seasons. He was sleeping with Cersei and was also responsible for helping Cersei with Robert’s untimely death (and they are also cousins obvs because incest is best in Cersei’s world). And now, he has joined some sort of religious cult, the High Sparrows. This is going to be very interesting especially since Lancel knows things about Cersei that no one else did. Add in the fact that he’s joined a religious group and this could very well be the beginning of the end for Ms. Cersei.

The new Lancel Lannister

Oh and Uncle Kevan is back. Most of us will probably not even remember this guy, but this is Tywin’s brother. He’s made a few appearances up to this point but they have been very short-lived so I have a feeling he will be playing a much more prominent role this season:

Uncle KEvan

And things are looking even worse for Cersei. Loras and Margaery had a quick conversation but it appears as though Margaery is still going to try to find a way to get rid of Cersei…perhaps! After Tywin’s death, Loras and Cersei are no longer betrothed so essentially Cersei isn’t going anywhere for the time being. Only time will tell.


The future is shit. Just like the past.

I couldn’t agree more with Tyrion’s words about the future and past being shit! Such is life, especially if you were born in Westeros. So Varys has taken Tyrion across the narrow sea to Pentos, where his old friend Illyrio Mopatis is hiding out (you might remember Illyrio from Season 1). The one thing we know is that Illyrio and Varys are obviously working together to find Dany and bring peace to the seven kingdons which was hinted at upon Varys saying he was looking for a girl. Guess that only leaves Tyrion with one place to go!

Who said anything about him.

It looks as though Tyrion is headed to Meereen and I am ecstatic to see where this goes. There are certain characters and story that were introduced in the books which I can only hope will come to pass on the show. Either way, there is going to be a lot of drinking along the way!

The Road to Meereen

Also heading out on a journey of their own, Brienne and Podrick are still trying to locate Sansa. And all the while, Littlefinger is taking her on a journey of her own. Will Brienne ever find Sansa at this point? And even if she does, how is she going to convince her to come with them? At this point, I am entirely bored with Brienne’s story, if only because it was much more exciting in the books but it looks as though she may be crossing paths with Sansa sooner than later as they came across their wagon on the road. Hmmm….

Far Far Away

The Harpy’s Revenge

Slide of the Harpy

 Far across the continent of Essos, we head back to Meereen to see what Dany and her crew are up to. Some random dude is ready to settle down for the evening after a long, hard day at work. And it was quite the day! They were tasked with taking down the Harpy from the top of Meereen’s biggest pyramid and was undeniably one epic thing to watch. Unfortunately for him though, and the rest of Dany’s army, it appears that the Sons of the Harpy are none to pleased about the Dragon Queen’s arrival and one of the Unsullied is their first victim. Like Tyrion said, the future is SHIT:

That Was Sharpy

So it looks as though Dany, Barristan, Daario (whom I can’t stand now that they replaced his character–that was easily the WORST accent ever he was trying to put on) and the rest are in for loads of fun in the sun now that these guys are lurking in the shadows:

We make this look good.

The Sons of the Harpy even left a mask for Dany to find so obviously they want them to know they mean business. Later on, Hizdahr zo Loraq meets with Dany. He wants them to reopen the fighting pits but there is a huge problem with this as the fighting pits are the new habitat to Rhaegal and Viserion and I’m not sure Dany has another option to hide these dragons! Shit just got real in Meereen.

Give us back our pit

Kneel or Burn

Hostile takover

Last but not least, at the Wall, things are about to get heated up with the arrival of Stannis, Davos and Melisandre. One thing that I noticed immediately…when Melisandre and Jon Snow are riding to the top of the wall, Melisandre randomly asks Jon about his virginity. Obvs Jon isn’t a virgin but why did Melisandre respond only with “good”. This has to mean something but I’m not quite sure what yet.

So Jon ends up meeting with Davos and Stannis where we find out that Stannis is planning on making the Wildings a part of his army. Not only that, their next course of action is to take back the North from Roose Bolton, including Winterfell! WE THE NORTH! He asks Jon to convince Mance Rayder, the Wildling King, to bend his knee or face being burned alive. I don’t know about you guys but I think I’d rather bend the knee and live another day than burn at the stake, just saying!

But Jon and Mance give us what is easily one of the best scenes of the premiere. Jon attempts to convince him to bend his knee to Stannis but Mance is having none of it as he would lose all the respect he earned if he bent the knee to a king from the south. But I think we learned something important from this conversation. Mance is afraid of something and if I had to guess, he’s afraid of whatever lies north in the form of White Walkers.

Mance has too much pride though and things are not going to end well for the King Beyond the Wall.

Burn One Down

That ending scene was pretty phenomenal though. That said, they didn’t do enough with Mance. And with him dying, this will likely have much greater ramifications for the rest of the night’s watch. Watching their leader burn to death is probably not going to induce a warm and fuzzy feeling in his followers and I’m not sure how Stannis plans on having the Wildlings join his army after this. Plus, winter is coming in the form of an army of White Walker’s and undead. The question now remains: can Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch get this shit together before all hell breaks loose?! For Mance though…his watch has ended 😦

Hot in Herre

Next Week

Looks like we are finalllllllly heading south to Dorne next! The Dornish are none to happy about Oberyn’s death and I cannot wait to see what unfolds in the dirty south. Also, it appears that we will be returning to Braavos as well to catch up on Arya’s journey. Can’t wait ’til next week! Winter is FINALLY back!


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