American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Blood Bath’ Review ‘Rub A Dub Blood’


Rub A Dub Blood

“Let me tell you something Ladies. That girl, she’s every last one of us. Well I say NO MORE, not in my house!” -Desiree Dupree

Two weeks off and we got a lot of death. Kinda disappointed fellow freaks. Sure two main characters were killed off, but was it really worth it? I don’t think so and Twisty don’t play that. We have five episodes left to make up for this so there’s still hope, but really this episode, while clearly still better than any Walking Dead episode, was not quite what I was expecting. Whatever happened to the fucked up days of Asylum and Murder House.

That said, we had some new butcherings (yup, new word) but I still would have preferred some other characters getting killed off instead of the ones we saw die. Rub-a-dub-dub Dandy in the tub. Enjoy the review!

Dandy Cane

Dandy had his moments this episode but it was the ending of the episode that will truly change things. First though, Gabourey is back as Regina, who is Dora’s daughter (aka Woody Woodpecker). And she is none to impressed with her mom being no where in sight. Possibly due to the fact that Dandy murdered the shit out of her.

She’s also not afraid to call the cops, so it is probably only a matter of time before death becomes her:

im calling the popo

Not too much happened with this until the end of the episode when Dandy finally confronts his Mom. Apparently incest is best in the Motte family, but Dandy has major abandonment issues and decides to finally cut ties with his mother:

Dandy shoots his mom

And the stuffed bear is the only witness. I have a feeling things are about to get really fucked up next week when Dandy makes an appearance at a Tupperware Party…nuff said. Of course, this was not the only death from Blood Bath but at least Dandy spared the stuffed bear.

Bearded Butchering

In an insane twist of events and my fave part of the episode was the showdown throwdown between Elsa and Ethel. Bearded Lady versus Got Her Legs Chopped Off In A Snuff Film Elsa…yup, that sentence just happened.

The beginning of the episode saw Ethel confront Elsa about Ma Petite’s death and Elsa’s intentions. And we got a nice little flashback about how Elsa got her new legs, which Ethel decided to take a shot at with not much success.

Hole in OneAnd we finally get to see how Elsa got her energizer bunny legs. And guess who decided to show up in the flashback! If you guessed Dr. Arden then you’re gonna be completely disappointed:

The Axeman Cometh BackBut if you guessed the guy who played the Axeman from last season, you WIN! The Axemen Maketh in Germany as he was the one making Elsa her new legs, although this wasn’t actually the axeman from New Orleans, just the actor who played him.

Personally, I enjoyed watching the flashback of how Elsa spent some time in Geppetto’s workshop. I just hope her legs don’t start growing every time she tells a lie.

santa's workshopI will say though, I was fairly disappointed that Doc Arden didn’t make an appearance, there has to be SOME connection between Nazi Germany and Arden, just have no idea when we’re going to see this happen.

Course, Elsa is A-OK after getting shot in her Pinocchio legs but with Ethel already screwed due to Movember ending, I guess this was inevitable:

knife to see you ahsLooks like Ethel be dead. And also looks like Elsa’s throwing knife skills have improved significantly! Dexterity +10 FTW. I was kinda surprised to see this happen but it was a pretty sweet scene all around! So one less lady in the Freak Show, but at least Triple Tits is still alive and well.

Sisterhood of the Travelling Freaks

I wish we had more of these ladies because WOWZERS! The ladies of the Freakshow get together for a good old fashioned kidnapping. And said kidnapping also involved some tar and feathers. And a new name for Penny the Candy Striper:

The Astounding Lizard GIrlAnd the best revenge is revenge served with Lizard Girl and the rest of our awesome lady freaks minus Bette and Dot who had no airtime this week! But Desiree killed it with her bad ass self and the ladies of Freakville decide to go all Mean Girls and kidnap Lizard Girl’s insane father. I knew this guy was trouble ever since he pulled a shotgun out on his OWN DAUGHTER! WTF! You prolly deserved this dude:

Extreme MakeoverBut that wasn’t even the worst of it because then the girls got out their pillows. Slumber Party anyone?

pillow fight ahsAnd the Sisterhood had so much fun! Good times all around! Course, they get stopped by Maggie and newly named Lizard Lady decides to spare her daddy, but not before they ripped off part of his skin! Oh AHS, keep on keepin’ on! Desiree completely killed it this episode, bringing back shades of the Voodoo Lady from last season, but I definitely love her attitude and definitely want to see MOAR of her!

At the end of the day though, it was probably a terrible idea to let Lizard Girl’s dad go because I get the feeling he is going to be back for vengeance.

Big Barbara

The Biggest Loser - Ima WigglesWhere did this new freak come from? Love it! I found the introduction of Ms. Ima Wiggles to be, well, fascinating. Curious to see where they are going with this, but man this girl can eat!

Ima Wiggles - Nom NomsA feast for twelve but in this case only one! Clearly this woman has food issues and she is well taken care of by Elsa who brings her to the circus. She is, however, warned by Lobster Boy that things aren’t looking so good for freaks residing in Jupiter, Florida.

And while on the theme of pillows, Ms. Wiggles clearly makes a great one:

More cushion for the pushinApparently Jimmy Darling has a thing for big butts and he cannot lie! Not sure if Maggie could even get jealous over this, but at least Lobster Boy has a new friend. And who knows what is next for Ima Wiggles but I expect BIG things. And shout-out to Ima Waddles as well!

The Verdict

EPISODE SCORE: 8 / 10  I was expecting much more but at least things are changing dramatically. With the death of Ethel and Gloria, things are gonna get freaky. Dandy has completely lost his shit and it’s only a matter of time before he heads to Freakville and goes bat shit crazy. Unfortunately for him, the Sorority of the Travelling Freaks exists and Dandy ain’t got nothing on Triple Tits, Amazon Awesome and the rest! Go get ’em girls!

Also, check out the preview for next week’s episode…anything titled Tupperware Party Massacre can only end badly:

One Freak To Rule Them All

Freak Show PollSome new freaks were added to the poll this week. As you know, Penny got a new name so the Astounding Lizard Girl makes her way on our list. And of course, I didn’t forget about Ima Wiggles, she’s just too big to leave off. Keep on Pollin’, baby!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: