American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Edward Mordrake Pt. 2’ Review ‘Class Clown’

Class Clown

“I had an idea. I would turn the garbage…into Gold. Like Rumpelstiltskin” -Twisty the Clown

Well folks, that was something else. We just witnessed one of the BEST episodes of American Horror Story I have ever seen. How does this show make you feel sorry for a crazy, psychotic murdering clown with no mouth, I will never know. But they did it. Look no further than Twitter last night as we all watched in disbelief:

So in less than an hour we went from being absolutely terrified of Twisty to feeling sorry for him! Collective GROUP HUG everyone!

Oh, and if you have been hiding out in Twisty’s neck of the woods this whole time, I should also mention that THESE TWO ARE JOINING THE FREAK SHOW! Click the image if you want to read more.

Pure sexy right there. Neil Patrick Harris aka Barney aka Doogie Howser M.D. and his real-life boyfriend, David Burtka, on American Horror Story: Freak Show. Life is complete. Now on with the show!

Devil’s Night

Last night was all about back story! Mordrake, still on a mission to find his grail, is visiting them one by one. First up, Legless Suzy and Paul the Illustrated Seal. Again, all tragic and makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep for these people.

Legless Suzy gets it started. The doctors took her legs when she was 2 years old and her parents left her in a basket on the doorstep of an orphange. Not weeping tears of sorrow yet? Well, there is more. Now out on the streets during the Great Depression, Suzy could not compete with the dancing hobos. I feel like this is what would have happened if Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding would have been dancers instead of figure skaters:

Dancing with the StarsJealousy at its best. She didn’t think of his legs as being part of them, just as something she would never have. She also didn’t think a prick in the leg would kill the guy either. That said, this incident inspired Suzy to perform and is why she was spared by Mordrake.

Paul the Illustrated Seal also had an interesting back story as well and just as sad. The world hated the Seal Boy but no more than he hated himself so he decided to give the people what they wanted…a monster!

Tattoo NightmaresSo he went out and got himself tatted up! He was even gonna get his face done but he chickened out at the last minute. Why you ask? Because he has the face of a pretty lad and well…

"I Could have ruled the world" Paul the SealIf he had that mug on a normal body, he could have ruled the world! Man oh man, that is tough to swallow! Mordrake concludes that none of these people are the ones, including Salty and Pepper. Anyone else think of this:

You are NOT the fatherMordrake is the new Maury Povich 🙂 So apparently these stories are not good enough for ole Mordrake. But hey, these stories were also tame from where AHS took us next.

Snuff It Out

I had the most beautiful legs.Next up, our good friend Elsa Mars. And this story was just twisted. She was so arrogant when talking to Mordrake I thought there was no way in HELL she wasn’t going with him to hell. But then, her back story! Ryan Murphy…Jesus H. Christ. That was BAT SHIT CRAZY! And still not even the highlight of this episode.

Did anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Soulja Boy was actually Dr. Arden? Maybe Arden helps Elsa leave Germany? Maybe he’s the one responsible for getting her back on her feet? Either way, there HAS to be some connection between Elsa Mars, Nazi Germany and Dr. Arden from Asylum. And really, how freakin amazeballs would that be? But wait, I have also heard rumors that Lily Rabe may be reprising her role as Sister Mary Eunice and making her appearance in Epi 10. I pray that this is true (pun totally intended) (CONFIRMED: CLICK HERE Lily Rabe to Reprise ‘Asylum’ Character, ZOMGGGG)

Back on point though after peeing my pants with that news, Elsa starts her story and she appears to be some sort of dominatrix. Oh, and then…there was this:

Not AmazeballsThat actually hurt to screencap! 😦 Then this too:

AHS Goes HostelIf you guessed that Elsa got paid for doing this while people watched, not to mention that old guy in the lingerie, then your mind is TWISTED! Eli Roth would be proud and also put to shame at the same time. Apparently, The Watchers are a group of wealthy fucktards who got off on this sort of thing. They made “men ejaculate gold.” Elsa’s words, not mine. And she was the main attraction.

Elsa would unfortunately pay a dear price though for being their star. And it was absolutely horrific. That scene in the premiere of The Walking Dead, and those who have watched it know exactly what I am talking about when I say it was horrific to watch. But not AHS horrific. Are you ready? Poor, poor Elsa Mars:

30s footageHere’s a clearer image of what was going on. I closed my eyes, you should too:

Thirty Seconds to Elsa MarsDid I also mention these PSYCHOS were wearing lipstick and nylons over there head. That is just fucked up shit…I can’t think of any other way to describe it! I mean, they cut her legs off with a chainsaw to make a snuff film!?!? Bat. Shit. Crazy. To. The. Extreme.

So Elsa is not the one for Mordrake either. But hey, he still has that clown to visit…

The Day The Clown Cried

#SadFaceHow is it even possible to feel this bad for a murdering clown? I am still coping with this. I thought he was living in my closet, waiting for the right opportunity to murder the F out of me and now I just want to give him a big hug! Unbelievably tragic stuff. Did anyone really see this coming? Is this the last we have seen of Twisty?

We pick up right where we left off last week. Lobster Boy and Esmeralda our out on a nature walk when finally Twisty comes into direct contact with them while trying to recapture the kid he basically let escape. Bad move, clown! But regardless, I still can’t imagine this guy chasing me through the woods:

Clown StuffWhile that was going on, Dandy the Spoiled Clown ended up clubbing Lobster Boy and Gypsy in the back of the head. So ya, you probably know where were going with this:

dandy-about-to-saw-tiny-tits-in-halfNope, not gonna happen. Emma Roberts is not dying this early. And she didn’t so let’s all breathe a sigh of relief but more on that a little later. With all this cray cray going on, it was only a matter of time before Mordrake stumbled upon the clowns and, inevitably, it was phenomenal. Twisty gave birth to his back story and it was as tragic as ever. Oh, and I’m pretty sure this is the stuff nightmares are made of:

Twisty takes his mask offAnd with that, he tells his story. And it is downright sad. You see, all Twisty wanted to do was be a good person. He was a special children’s clown and he makes the cool kids laugh. Of course, the freaks don’t take kindly to clowns so they completely rip on him to the point where they accuse poor Twisty of doing bad things. Why do people…

#AHSHOLES…act like assholes? Why? I guess it all starts somewhere and who can blame Twisty now. All he wanted to do was make people happy and instead they drove him to this…shame on human beings:

#poortwistyMoral of the story: We need to be NICE to each other so this kind of crap doesn’t ever happen! SHOW, how! How did you make us feel this way about a psychopath killer! HOW!? I guess there is some truth to the phrase “Nice Guys Finish Last.” Because Twisty, he was a nice guy at one point. And then, the one thing we all did NOT see coming:

Let's all drink to the death of a clownAnd if you’re familiar with The Kinks, then you will probably know this song. Surprisingly, it wasn’t used last night:

So Twisty…he dead. What a sad story and how did the writers leave us actually feeling sorry for this guy!? The bigger question though: Is the the last we have seen of ole Twisty? I hope not.

We Can Be Heroes

The Craziest Show on EarthFirst, props to Finn Wittrock who has absolutely killed it as Dandy. I think the writers felt comfortable with him taking over as the lead villain and, well, here is probably why:

#creepyThat smile is WORSE than Twisty’s mask. Dandy the Clown though, I’m still not sold on that name. It doesn’t exactly conjure up fear. Course things didn’t turn out the way Dandy planned and his Halloween gets ruined the F up!

We hate you too DandyLobster Boy was able to save the day from Ms. Gypsy getting sawed in half, PHEW! Halloween is officially ruined though if you’re Dandy. What a spoiled little shit. And the only thing creepier than both Twisty’s mask and Dandy’s smile is…

#creepier…Dandy WEARING TWISTY’S MASK! But at least we got some happy times at the end of this episode. It was beyond perfect because with Jimmy Darling and Esmeralda saving the children from certain death, the townsfolk appear to have lightened up to our freaks. And after all, aren’t we all freaks?

WHy can't we be friends?ZOMG, Pepper might be getting her meatloaf after all! 🙂 It was such a beautiful scene and finally Jimmy has somehow united everyone in Jupiter. Absolute LOVE. Hugs for all.

AWWWW-SOMEThe Wallflowers smash hit from the ’90s comes to mind now every time I watch this scene because Jimmy is a freakin’ hero, if only for a day.

Course it didn’t last long. Elsa makes a power move at the end with Bette and Dot and Stanley, Mr. Hollywood, California, is gonna be attending the latest festivites. I can only wonder what song they’re going to be using for the Freak Show next week! Fingers crossed for something amazeballs.

And last but not least…Dandy! I gotta say though, I really loved Patti LaBelle, especially when she completely OWNED that lil’ shit:

Im not afraid of you, you made in the shade white boy. you can barely wash your own ass. I know cus i wash your shitty drawers'She has the BEST lines and is probably the only one that has stood up to that spoiled brat so far. Unfortunately, Woody Woodpecker met her demise as well. We will miss you Nora:

Dandy is the new TwistyI was really starting to like her too! I wanted her to save the day by the end of the season! Anyone else on that train??? 😉 And obviously, with Twisty out of the picture, Dandy enjoyed every minute of this so I will leave you with this freakishly evil smile. He doesn’t need the mask and I am frightened:

#creepiestThat’s a wrap. I’m off to hide meow.

 The Verdict

No need for a music section this week as there wasn’t any performances. That said, I was able to find the Mordrake theme music and it is a creepy ass song. It’s called Road to Utah by Pere Ubu. How they find these tracks is beyond me because of how perfectly perfect they fit with the stories. Thank you Shazam! Check it out below:

EPISODE SCORE: 12 / 10 This episode was the EPITOME of why I watch this show. It is beyond unpredictable and just when you think you have it all figured out, you instead want to hug the guy doing all the killing. Heck, half the characters barely showed up as there was minimal screen time for Bette, Dot, Stanley, Ethel and Dell.

One Freak To Rule Them All

If Twisty was ahead in the polls last week, he is probably topping the charts right now with that sad clown story of his. I guess we really shouldn’t fear clowns after all. THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE so stop the clown hating and get over your fears Clownophobes! That is what this show is all about! It makes us uncomfortable on purpose so we have no choice but to think! An absolutely brilliant hour of television this week.

Matt Bomer is making his Freak Show debut next week and, according to Ryan Murphy, he is involved in one of the most disturbing scenes ever! Yep, you read that right, it gets more disturbing. Next level disturbing! I hope everyone likes the color Pink. And Cupcakes! Check out the promo for next week’s episode, titled Pink Cupcakes:

Hmm…poisonous cupcakes, I think I’ll pass but I can hardly wait to see what happens next with Twisty out of the picture.

And of course, the poll continues as we attempt to crown our favorite freak! I see no way Twisty isn’t going to win this but hey, there’s still NINE episodes left. What could possibly happen next!? Get ya vote on below. I added Nora (Patti LaBelle) since she was just too awesome. I’ll see you freaks again next week 🙂


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