What can I say. We are three episodes into Season 2 of Under the Dome and with each passing week, the quality of this show is literally also trapped under a dome but not the same one as Chester’s Mill. I read the book and in comparison to one of the better novels I have read, this show is simply nothing like the novel. And as bad as Linda was, the show has somehow gotten worse without her on the show, which I didn’t even think was freaking possible!
As you can see by the image above, it started raining blood in Domeville. And if you guessed that said blood contained some form of acidic substance that could burn human skin but could not burn through anything else, then you must have been watching this summer’s fastest-growing train wreck. At this point, the story makes absolutely no friggin sense so I thought I’d try to have a little fun with this review since clearly I had no fun at all watching last night’s episode, titled ‘Force Majeure’.
So without further ado, I present to you “Old MacDonald Had A Dome.” Enjoy:
Old MacDonald Had A Dome….
And in that Dome, he had a bunch of really fucking stupid people. E-I-E-I-D’OH! I mean, someone must have dropped a stupid bomb on this town just before Dome Day. This was one for the ages, folks.
With a dumb dumb here and a dumb dumb there. Here a dumb, there a dumb…everywhere a dumb dumb! And they decided to start filling out a census which was in the guise of some survey to determine what everyone wanted. Like really people…when was the last time anyone in charge cared about what you wanted!!! LOL! So clearly, this is actually a census to determine which ones are too weak (or stupid) to continue under the dome. You see, Old MacDonald’s Dome is running out of resources so it appears that Rebecca has secretly come up with a plan to get rid of these dumb dumb’s. The only flaw with her plan is that every single person in town is stupid. The census results will leave her right back where she started…with a dome full of dumb dumb’s.
And if this wasn’t enough for ya, Old MacDonald also has some storm clouds. And in those storm clouds, there was:BLOOD! DOME BLOOD! With a blood drop here and a blood drop there…Rebecca and Old MacJim head out for a Monday evening drive to celebrate the Dome’s entry into womanhood. But first..Old MacJim had to get a shave:
With a scrape scrape here and a scrape scrape there…MacJim is now clean shaven. Oh, and we got to meet some random crazy new guy, Lyle (played by Dwight Yoakam), the owner of the local barbershop because this show isn’t ridiculous enough.
And In That Dome There Was Some Acidic Blood Rain
Of course, this new blood rain is obvs acidic and is extremely harmful to human skin, but oddly enough can’t seem to do any damage to the following items: a vehicle, a coat, clothes, trees, leaves, grass, buildings, hoses, this list could go on forever.
Oh, but it did destroy all the crops…yup, not the trees or the leaves…they were fine, but the crops are fucked because this is Under the Dome and acidic blood has a mind of its own when it comes to science.
Then they decided to have Lyle, the random new character, proceed to kidnap Rebecca by WALKING IN FRONT OF THEIR CAR IN THE RAIN:
Obviously he takes her to another cabin in the woods where he proceeds to start a religion vs. science debate. The Simpsons answered this question years ago when Judge Snyder ordered religion and science to stay 500 yards from each other at all times so I’m not sure what the fudge they’re arguing about. MMM…fudge.
With A Gun Stand-Off Here…
And who won the debate? Well no one. I won’t go into details because, honestly, I have no idea what happened or why it even happened. Luckily, Old MacDonald has some screencaps:
If you guessed TAMPONS, well you are WRONG WRONG WRONG although that would have made the show a helluva lot better prolly. Although, technically, anything is possible because I really just don’t know what happened next. I think they filled the lake with the water from the water tower which offset the acid in the lake and essentially stopped the rain in 2.7 seconds. All the while the grass stayed green:
…And A Tweet Tweet There
INTERNET! The only event in the entire episode I actually thought was somewhat interesting. So naturally the writers only gave us about 4 minutes of this story before the Internet gets disconnected but they did mention the mysterious new Twitter group, #HoundsofDiana. WTF?
So Joe, Norrie and Junior are all somehow able to get online and do what any normal teens would do: check their Twitter, send some live tweets from the Dome, read some emails, Skype with Junior’s moms whom is supposed to be dead…the usual. Until Junior breaks the Internet, possibly from watching too much porn, we’re not sure at this point:
And if any of these people had any brain power, this probably would have happened next:
But alas it didn’t! Joe immediately concludes that there is no way back on the net and no one is even going to restart the wireless router which solves the problem 99.9% of the time!?!? At least Junior’s mom got to tell him to find Lyle before she was disconnected. With a WTF here and a WTF there… Old MacDonald’s Dome is FUCKED!
And just before the end of our episode, Joe and Norrie randomly decide to sign each other’s yearbooks but instead find an old yearbook with Dome Baby’s picture:
Yup, Dome Baby is actually some ’80’s chick…Dirty Dancin’ FTW! My guess is that this ’80’s chick actually died years ago and was thrown in the lake and the Dome is walking around in her body….Dome Logic?
Episode Score: E-I-E-I-4.0. Easily the worst of the worst, this show has officially hit DOME bottom. The only reason the episode even gets a score is because the Domies got to use the Internet for like 20 minutes.
So can it get any worse? How many more laws of science can these writer’s destroy? Let’s all find out next week when the Dome has a Revelation. Sorry, couldn’t find a promo this week…I guess even the marketing team has given up on this show, LOL! Namaste, Domies!